Name of Interviewers: Lillie, Aya, Nada
Location: Irbid
Um Mohammed (Aysha) Interview
Free Write(s):
Lillie
Loss – attachment to Syria – attachment to the news – to
people that died in Syria – to the land, to the house – depression, thoughts,
not being able to escape thoughts and memories – not being able to turn off the
news, son telling her to watch comedy
No family here –spent Eid alone – everyone else from the
same areas
People filling their time with nothing, not finding anything
meaningful to contribute to – they stay up all night and sleep all day (this
isn’t something that people did in Syria) – they have depression but they don’t
know it. Everyone lost someone, but some houses lost 3 or 4 or 5 members.
Suicide isn’t even an option in this community
There’s psychological services but no one uses them – she
used them and was happy to talk – prescribed medicine but she didn’t take it
Using youtube to learn things, doing yoga from the
television
Value of education – education is more important than money
– she forbid any of her kids from working until they were finished with college
Her son being able to get the scholarship - that was a huge thing on her mind before he
got it, it was her biggest concern – he’s 24, and lost time in school
Housing is either expensive or terrible quality, or the
utilities are high – but hard to find in the first place – she spent 3 months
looking for housing – her landlord is patient with her when she’s late on the
rent, unlike others – she lived there since May 2013 – she fixes everything
herself
When she needs money she does it through Jam3ayiya, which is
very common and most people are doing
People go around from organization to organization, trying
to get different assistance – go in groups and organize through whatsapp –
uncertainty of getting resources or not, comparing one to the other
The wrong people get assistance – they have people
supporting them from other countries (the gulf) and people who really need it
don’t get it – misunderstanding of vulnerability (seeing a furnished apartment
and thinking that means the person has things) – people who don’t deserve it
get it
Religion is a huge supportive value in her life – the
friends she met she met them through the koranic group – they support each
other – that’s the first thing that got her out of the house – the koranic
group took them on a trip to Salt, source of recreation and relationships
She wants to go on Omra, to change Jow – she used to go to
Mecca on a yearly basis – needs a Jordanian sponsor to write a check for 5,000
JD as a guarantor – a friend of hers from the koran group offered this for her
– she would also be able to see her family
Lots of integration with Jordanians now inter-marriage as
well
Recognition is important, and helping others is important (story
of helping a Jordanian woman to help learn Koran, and how much the woman
changed once she started learning) contribution – she was wanted in Syria for
distributing assistance to poor people –
also used to work for an organization
Loves going to the gym – couldn’t make herself go, but now
she loves it
Talked about the value of saving resources, not using more
than you need – water, electricity – you’re not the only one who needs them –
since coming to Jordan started saving food as well
No problem accessing health services - Lots of health
problems, takes medicine every day – mentioned blood pressure – except a
dentist! Her teeth are torturing her and it’s the only service she couldn’t’
access.
Mentioned that you need to have basamt 3ain in order to
access lots of other assistance – she didn’t have it when she first came, and
got turned away at a health clinic – they assume that you don’t need help if
you don’t have assistance.
Attachment to the things she’s received from her family
members – a coffee cup, perfume – and things that symbolize her
accomplishments, and her self-worth (organization like the calendar) – showed
us a picture of her son who was killed – only came to Jordan with her clothes
and some papers – try to get the rest of the papers from Syria through a
Bedouin courier, but her never showed up after he got paid
Sense of not being respected, or given dignity from
organization (asked in a condescending way – what would you teach)
Selling her products that her son orders online - but
feeling like she’s not expanding, not growing, and that’s frustrating to her
Problems
-
Depression
-
Wasted time
-
Loss and grief
-
Lack of productivity and contribution
-
Difficulty in finding housing
-
Lack of friendships or connections, finding
like-minded people
-
Health problems, reliance on medicine – dental
problems
-
Spends most of her time: learning (which is also
a way of escaping the difficulty of her unoccupied mind)
Values
-
Education
-
Learning
-
Religion
-
Family
-
Contribution
-
Productivity
Nada
- The need for a purpose in life
- The need
for a secure job rather than financial aid
- A job
would help in distracting them away from sad reality + secure their lives
- They don’t
want to be/feel helpless and dependant on others
- Longing
for dear people that they lost > longing to see them or talk to them
- Finding a
cope mechanism to deal with losing a dear person and longing for them
- Finding
enjoyment and gratification in helping others
- Helping
others who faced similar or worse circumstances makes their own experience seem
easier to deal with
- Sharing
skills between each other is something they would enjoy and benefit from
- They have
a great physical and mental potential but they lack guidance > which is
destructive to them
- They used
to be active back home but now they’re lazy and waste a lot of time over
insignificant matters
- Renewing
tiny details in their lives (like moving furniture) give them a feeling of
progress and motivation
-
Exhausting themselves with hard work to get tired in order to be able to sleep
and stop thinking of their reality
- The way
they are being turned on from opportunities hurt
Aya
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